They say that everything is in your hands. Optimists or lucky ones think this way in general. Of course there’s a slice of truth in it but with 50/50 ratio. Pessimists or realists have another opinion about this. Although I know that realistic opinions are not accepted with a great inspiration, however there are much more useful other than the pointless optimistic ones. You can ensure yourself from probable risk that can arise leading to bad results being a realist.
Since the first day of a person’s life till the adult age nothing is in his hands, however sad the fact is. Who will be your parents, in what family you’ll be born, in what environment you’ll be brought up, in what conditions does not depend on you. Even reaching the adult age it’s hard to say whether you will have an opportunity to choose your life path.
Who, whom, where will meet and when and in what conditions the decision of your creation will be made does not depend on you. Will you be born or not does not depend on you. Who will be your parents does not depend on you. In what conditions will you start your life does not depend on you. How will you look like does not depend on you. In one word more than 50% of the initial conditions of your life do not depend on you.
For example, when you first time go to school, it does not depend on you who will be your first friend as your choice is limited to the number of present in the class. In other words his majesty destiny is always ready to limit your right to choose.
Till the adult age “right” decisions are made by your parents instead of you. Many get addicted to that “right” decision henceforth. This phenomenon is similar to traditional societies, where people have stereotyped way of thinking, where “right” and “wrong”, and “bad” and “good” are clearly fixed. Here the idea of adaptation and obedience rules. There is no other way.
Or many say follow your dream. And what if my dreams are out of morality norms and being conscious of the probable outcomes I don’t stop dreaming about those things. Now what, I don’t have a right to dream about bad things, I should dream within the “limits”. Even while dreaming your “choice” is limited. “It’s a shame! Are you crazy? It’s wrong!” Who says?
When I am asked what are my dreams I have to lie or at best say that I don’t have ones, because I already know what would be the reaction.
Or they say I lie that I dream about those things. What else is left to say to such limited and stereotyped people? At most you can do is to shake your shoulders.
It is not excluded that on the way of achieving your dream you’ll find out that it is a bit “bold” anyway. But this will be found out only when your dream comes true.
For example, I dream to leave this life not from getting old but as a result of a car accident, under alcoholic influence and in high spirits. But my dream limits at the very moment by the voice of my conscious. I imagine the sufferings of those who “love” me and at once I withdraw such dream. Or I can wait until the number of them will reduce. Or, at least, I should not multiple the numbers of those who “love” me or need me, if I have such a dream.
“Firework life - short and beautiful”.
I haven’t yet made a wrong decision to my assessing during my 25-year life. Everything goes as it should. But I always was afraid of making a wrong decision and still keep on being afraid of it. I think too much about it. That thought chases me all the time. Haven’t I made a wrong decision or missed the chance? Who knows…
I have always been afraid of facing a choice when there is only one way to choose and I ask the God not to put me in that state. For instance, the choice concerning the health. Here the destiny chooses. There is no explanation.
Once I have found the answer. I thought if the sick people didn’t exist so the healthy ones wouldn’t assess their own health. For instance, the acquired disability. Many disabled people approve that it doesn’t mean anything. They continue their life path but in other conditions already. They awake us to value the opportunities we have.
Although choice of the initial conditions of your life path does not depend on you, which is the basis for the later heading, but life gives you an opportunity to choose. There are many who complain about their life blaming the destiny. After you listen to their life story you understand that in many cases they have chosen their today’s “unhappy” state. They didn’t take into account others’ experience, made their decisions under the impact of the moment, hurried, or were too much optimistic. Of course, it is very hard to be always conscious, provident, self-control, etc.
Recently I use to hear very frequent that people tell me: “don’t delay your decision to marry, otherwise later on you’ll understand a lot about marriage and you wouldn’t marry ever.” What they want to say? Get married and get yourself into … you know what, let me avoid mentioning.
That is to say, the society provokes you to make a wrong choice. Blows dusty into your eyes, limits your outlook with stereotypes. In one word, the external incendiaries blind your brain and you become unable to make a right decision any longer.
Oh, human beings beware of stereotyped societies!
Globally speaking, if we take the phenomenon of the life path choice due to value system in Western and Eastern societies, so we can see that in both cases people are unhappy. In West the permissiveness exists and in East everything is limited by “non-permits”. Golden middle doesn’t exist. In conditions of permissiveness the choice is made instinctively, which often has bad results. And in conditions of “non-permits” the sense of dissatisfaction leads to collapse.
Everything is too complicated. But as the French say “c’est la vie”. Don’t fuss too much, sooner or later we all going to die.
Smile and love each other.
October 19, 2011
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